Salutations, content aggregators! Tin Blott here, shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot under the crushing weight of history on this very special day. It is, of course, the inauguration of my faithful companion Mr Rumpus as Yogi-in-Chief of my newsletter business. After advising for so long on technical and online support issues "behind the scenes", as it were, it was clearly time for Mr Rumpus to step forward and bring his clear-sighted vision and innovative thinking to bear on the unpredictable world of modern newsletter publishing. "Change" is the keyword here. Change we can all hopefully profit from. So how will this momentous day play out? As the ceremony lurches forward into action, here's a handy timetable of what to expect:
11.30am: Welcoming remarks by regional managing director Tin Blott
Musical selection of Peaches Geldof
12pm: Yogi-In-Chief elect Mr Rumpus will take the oath of newsletter office, using Tin Blott's inaugural Beano
Mr Rumpus gives his inaugural address, with the wrong postcode
Poem by EJ Thribb
Benediction by Father Frank Dowling
The National Anthem performed by Prince and the New Power Generation
1pm: Lunch, climaxing with Drambuie and Ferrero Rocher
2pm: Parade
Evening: A load of balls, then sleepytime
An exciting day, as I think you'll agree!
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