Saturday, 14 February 2009

Shot through the heart...





... and you are to blame! You give love a bad aim! Ay caramba, romance lovers! Tin Blott here, with a pulsating look at what quickens my heart not just at this particular time of year but the whole annus through. For me and Mr Rumpus, it's the chance to apply our blood pressure-increasing ideas to the whole outmoded model of newsletter production. 
In truth, a goddess lives here. Her name is Victory. And it's about time we produced for her a daily newsletter that doesn't involve so much darned manpower. So to that end, I have composed a concise sonnet, the better to serenade the deity to which I, and many others, happily kneel:

P is for Pisces, a sign that I hate
R is for Robbery at which I am great
O is for Oh what on earth has Tin done?
F is for what the F***ing f***ingest f***?
I is for "In the future, things will be better."
T is for "acTually, I'd rather ditch newsletters."

What say thee, readers?

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6 comments:

  1. Anonymous16 February 2009 at 12:26

    I'd say where's the visual content? Can't you train one of your intern monkees to do that tufty Tin?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous16 February 2009 at 12:34

    Dear Tin

    I love your whole idea of content matching. I notice, with a certain amount of satisfaction, that a relative of yours has pulled this off rather slyly.

    Just contrast the headlines in the newsletter above the bio of a well known landscape feature. http://www.newsquest.co.uk/people2/tblott/
    Fantastic. Keep it up!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous21 February 2009 at 13:02

    You're very quiet this week, Tin. Are we still getting our Christmas party and £8.50 bonus?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous21 February 2009 at 14:11

    TIN,
    you know it's all gone pear-shaped. why don't you do the decent thing and fall on your sword. interesting to note that the scotsman ed who got the push was considered out of touch because he still commuted home to portsmouth every weekend. ring any bells, oh yorkshire man?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous21 February 2009 at 14:14

    Help! I've been trapped in Ricky Martin's office for the past month doing crosswords, but no-one seems to notice I'm missing. Should I be worried?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous23 February 2009 at 12:14

    Randy Spark, if Disco Don has you handcuffed to a chair with pink fluffy manacles you should be very worried indeed.

    Hang on ... office? The guy has an office? I didn't think he was ever at work long enough to have an office. Doesn't he have to get his silly grin and wee piggy eyes pictured at another Evening Times award ceremony? That'll keep him out of the office.

    ReplyDelete

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