Salutations, content aggregators! Tin Blott here, shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot under the crushing weight of history on this very special day. It is, of course, the inauguration of my faithful companion Mr Rumpus as Yogi-in-Chief of my newsletter business. After advising for so long on technical and online support issues "behind the scenes", as it were, it was clearly time for Mr Rumpus to step forward and bring his clear-sighted vision and innovative thinking to bear on the unpredictable world of modern newsletter publishing. "Change" is the keyword here. Change we can all hopefully profit from. So how will this momentous day play out? As the ceremony lurches forward into action, here's a handy timetable of what to expect:
11.30am: Welcoming remarks by regional managing director Tin Blott
Musical selection of Peaches Geldof
12pm: Yogi-In-Chief elect Mr Rumpus will take the oath of newsletter office, using Tin Blott's inaugural Beano
Mr Rumpus gives his inaugural address, with the wrong postcode
Poem by EJ Thribb
Benediction by Father Frank Dowling
The National Anthem performed by Prince and the New Power Generation
1pm: Lunch, climaxing with Drambuie and Ferrero Rocher
2pm: Parade
Evening: A load of balls, then sleepytime
An exciting day, as I think you'll agree!
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But Tin - where was Tom-Thom on this auspicious day? Is Mr Rumpus usurping him in your affections? And is 'Ricky' Martin out of A&E? Really 'rather exciting' times we all live in!
ReplyDeleteAhem ... Anonymous should know that Tommy von Atomkinder was busy while all the lording around and balling was going on.
ReplyDeleteI can't say too much just now, but my spies at the old palace tell me there's exciting news for Scottish jobs, decommissioning one of the USA's nuclear aircraft carriers, Bingham's Pond, free asbestos for all Glasgow schoolchildren and a well creased pair of leather trousers once worn by Disco Don.
MDH
(Personal assistant to Baron Thomas von Atomkinder)